The end of semester one is quickly approaching and I feel good. I'm on top of my assignments and have been performing excellently thus far! I didn't always feel this way about school, though. We'll travel back in time to see me stress about registration.

Listen to my soundtrack

It's changed yet again. I have heard this song Run From Safety by Octoberman many a time whist listening to CBC Radio 3 online. Today I just happened to really focus on the lyrics, and I was captivated by the comparisons between my own life and the lyrics. Those of you who know me well know of my love for "double entendres." My despising of Winnipeg's habit of making mountains out of mole hills (fun mountain, ahem!). But that's just the beginning.

This proof I'm awake, this truth I can't break.

I'm also particularly fond of the line:

Judges and juries, convene in a hurry/
but there's no need to worry, cause this sentence can't hurt me./
And though the powers they've got, oh they seem like a lot/
but it just ain't enough to snuff the meaning for this stuff.

Coming out has been a Run From Safety. Won't you come back home, some people ask? Well I don't think so. As long as we run from safety, we'll find our way out here maybe.

Octoberman - Run From Safety

You know you've come out when:

You made a mix CD with all your feelings and hopes and fears embedded in the music; After the big day you have no desire to ever listen to those songs again, since you have listened to them 33 times. That has a symbolic ring to it.

Even Angles Cry - Jars of Clay
Homesick - Kings of Convenience
Water Under the Bridge - Jars of Clay
Return to Note - Klark
Surround - In-flight Safety
End of Part One - Violet Archers
I am John - Loney Dear
Hard Days 1.2.3.4. - Loney Dear
Blonde on Blonde - Nada Surf
Dead Letter - Wintersleep
From Grace - Thomas Dybdhal
Open Your Eyes - Snow Patrol

By the way

There's no easy way of saying this, so curl up beside me and let me find my voice.

As always, this was completely unscripted. This is my first 'coming out' video to to my friends and family, though I had discussed the issue with people in larger circles. I filmed it because I wanted to see how much of a dork I actually was, and also because I have a way of blanking out my memory in stressful situations. I never imagined that I would one day post something so personal and awkward to the internet.




Eight months later I was in the middle of writing the coming out letter to my family. I had told a few close friends back in Southern Ontario before I left, and everyone I knew in Winnipeg knew that I am gay. But I had kept the secret from most people I know in Southern Ontario because I wasn't ready to tell my family yet. The risk of them finding out before I was ready grew exponentially with each person who knew.

However, the longer I was out, the more comfortable I became with my sexuality and situation. I came across the video on my hard drive about a month ago by accident, having forgotten that I had even filmed it (see above re: blackout). It suddenly dawned on me that there aren't very many videos such as this available to the public. I knew this, because I had done extensive research across the blogosphere searching for inspiration and the wisdom of those who had been 'there' before me. I thought that this might be my gift to the cause. It also saved me having to tell hundreds of people in person.

My hope is that some other closeted individual might come across this video and see that it can be done, you can tell someone you love I'm Gay, and life will continue.

Another actual conversation

Lynn says: I swear you go back and forth between your stories.
He says: NO I DON'T.
He says: I'm consistent.
He says: I lie until I stop lying.

Agenda

Some other actual conversations

...but then I realized that I was just doing a silly walk over a soft obstacle.


***************************

Me: I just got offered a womb.

Renee: DON'T TAKE IT!

**************

me: What's up? Wanna get lunch?

Carolyn: I'm just praying and reading my bible right now.

me: Say hi to Jesus for me

Oh, wait, He just came online.

I'll tell him myself.

Let it

It first big snowfall of the year and my first blizzard ever in Winnipeg. A sign of things to come, no doubt!

Good Monsters

Click To Play. Double click video for full screen

Here's a fast forward view and instructions on how to look like a zombie for cheap! The whole getup cost me $13, and I have enough materials to create a zombie army.