Old men followed by fevers

I saw No Country For Old Men yesterday with Tim P. It was a really fantastic movie, though not one that I'd ever like to see again due to its graphic nature. There were moments in the movie where the emotion was so thick that I wanted to clamp down on Tim's thigh, just above the knee, and squeeze as hard as I could to relieve the tension.

This was followed by a gastronomical gastric attack from a free chocolate bar I had been offered. It is a low carb diet chocolate bar made with maltitol, a sugar alcohol that doesn't rot teeth. As I was munching on the bar and noting its unique flavor I thought I should look up maltitol as I had never heard of it before. I immediatly gravitated to an article titled "Malitol, just say NO" and it is there that my bathroom doom was prophesied over me. It apparently makes the bowels irate.

I had problems sleeping last night because a) I had just watched countless people be murdered on the silver screen and the images were dancing around my head and b) my bowels were vibrating. Then my neck started to hurt, followed by the chills which turned into a sweaty fever. My whole body began to ache and my lungs felt fatigued. I thought I was coming down with the flu. I prayed and asked the Lord to heal me, and made it easier on Him by downing three tylenol at once.

I woke up 92% my usual self this morning. Knock on wood, I think I have beat whatever is ailing me.

Update, 11:44 PM: I'm feeling soo ill and I'm getting the shakes again. Time for another Tylenol cocktail.

In Vain

Montage of the various speeches of the 2008 Academy Awards.


I watched the Oscars last night with 'the Tims'. One provided cocktail wieners: the other, beer. I provided nothing and apparently my company was useless as I had seen less than 10% of the contenders. I only guessed a few categories correctly, and guesses they were. Why do I love crappy movies?

But while my savvy friends were swallowing scrumptious fare I was noticing a fresh trend in the speeches this year. Nobody was thanking God.

I don't think this is bad news, either. The latest trend in the church over the past decade has been a call for a more authentic relationship with the Lord. I'm not proposing that the Oscar winners who didn't thank God publicly feel that God had nothing do do with their big win. I can relate in this way. When I get an A on an exam I say "I got an A on my exam and I'd like to thank myself for studying so hard and Amanda for lifting my spirits when I was feeling down." I know that God is in the mix, in his mysterious ways. I do not sense his direct contribution. Thus I feel it would be disingenuous to express my thanks to the Lord out loud for the world to hear.

It's not a stretch to conclude that when the Lord commanded us not to use his name in vain, it applied to overuse and half hearted attribution. So that's why I'm not concerned that God's name wasn't mud slung across the Oscars this year. You can be sure that the next time you hear me thank the Lord, it's coming from a direct connection with the creator. Think of how often you thank God publicly. Are you overusing his name?

10 > 5 = True

Winnipeg is in short supply of tenpin bowling lanes for a city of its size. The problem, I believe, stems from an overabundance of five pin bastard lanes on every corner. Winnipeggers seem to love the five pin bowling game, which is obviously a mental disorder or a disease in the water of some variety.

I went tenpin bowling at La Verendrye Bowling Lanes with some friends earlier this week. I lost both games. Damned five pin has dulled my game.

Curling: that's what she said

I got an invite to go curling for the first time in my life. Nobody there really knew how to play, so we were instead guided by the energies of our great Canadian forefathers and battled through a few rounds of this most social game.

Who'd have guessed?

The CBC is putting out some spectacular television series this season. Can you believe it?

I know, I know. Half my readers eyebrows just shot up and they're thinking I'm a liar. The other half have no idea what the CBC* is. Unfortunately the CBC has gained the reputation of having poor programming out of touch with the average Canadian. Some would argue that Canada is de-volving into a race of Philistines incapable of appreciating good stories. Regardless, Canada and the world have access to some outstanding, fresh and entertaining content. It's available for viewing both on old media and the web.

Firstly, I'd like to tell you about The Border. Taking place mainly in Ontario and Quebec, the show follows a Immigration and Customs Security (ICS) team as they police the 49th parallel, airports, and coastlines against smugglers, terrorists, and a meddling but beautiful Homeland Security officer. A combination of 24 meets Law and Order: SVU, The Border combines smart action/adventure with security issues that you see in the headlines every day. The acting is above average, the characters have complexity and depth. At least one person dies every episode, there's a fair amount of sex, and, my favorite, there's swearing in English AND French!

The Border airs weekly and episodes can be viewed online for free.




The second show is one I'm most excited about. Based on the book by Douglas Coupland, jPod is a wacky comedy set in Vancouver, 2005. Following the life of Ethan, a techno geek with a psychotic family and an unspoken debt to a womanizing Chinese mafia kingpin, Ethan is trying to produce a gore filled video game and score a co-worker. The acting is superb, the story is hilarious, and you will find yourself addicted to this weekly comedy. It's also conveniently available online.

If you preview any, then let me know what you thought!

*CBC stands for Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, and it is Canada's public broadcaster. Kind of like the BBC, except we get commercials.

Valentines Day

Isn't this a great video? My internet pal Alexander created it for his Valentine. I nearly jumped out of my seat when I watched it. Good work Alex, and LUCKY GIRL Allie! Make sure you go to his blog and let him know what you thought.

Kyle and I celebrated Valentines day yesterday at Noir Wine Bar+Eatery. Today Kyle is leaving on a jet plane for Toronto and Montreal during reading week, thus we had to celebrate a day early. I wrote a greeting into a card and got him a fun little novel called 'Gullboy' as it was the furthest genre from stuffy law books I could find.

Kyle got me a 'CBC radio: radio through the years' calendar that has fun facts about the history and current hosts of the CBC. He knows me too well. I'm such a geek! I could name over 9 of the 11 hosts on the cover!

In the past I didn't give two hoots about Valentines day and would join my other, more bitter friends in their scorn of this day. But now I am dating somebody, you can all jump off the bridge without me. Valentines day is da bomb!

Prepares for an internet lashing...

Face THAT!

I am currently taking an evening high school math class in an adult high school, so that I can continue in my degree. It doesn't feel much like high school.

• Before I was very unpopular in high school: Now I'm too cool to care.
• Before I had to raise my hand and get permission use the bathroom: Now I simply go whenever. I actually got yelled at once by my old high school teacher for leaving during free study time. I was 18, and indignant about the entire situation. All the cool kids in the class took the side of my teacher.
  
• Before I had no cell phone: Now I have a cell phone, and the teacher doesn't mind when I text all class so long as I don't bother anyone else. While this might seem like extremely disrespectful behavior at face value, it pales in comparison to the audacious drama the other (so called) adults in this evening course dish out. Tonight I was flirting with Carolyn using math formulas over text.
  

We get one fifteen minute break out of a 3 hour class. I wandered into the empty computer lab to check my email and do some Facebook maintenance. Much to my surprise, Facebook was a banned website on the school's network! I have heard of this on the news before: companies and schools block access to Facebook because it is a time waster, they say. What they fail to realize is that I am above their policy out of the virtue that I'm playful with life and have friends application invitations to reject. Seize the day, or at least my break!




After a quick Google search I discovered faceyourbook.com, a free hack site that allows you to cut through any network blockage and surf the net as though it were a God given right. It can be used for any website that has been blocked, anywhere. Go forward with my blessing.

P.S.
Does anyone know how to watch LOST on abc.com from within Canada? I can't get past their ip defenses.

Update:

Alexander said this post reminded him of an episode of Frasier.

Ellen's Stomp

I don't listen to a load of Christian music because much of it sounds awful. Often I'm either offended by what the lyrics are saying or the music itself is sub-standard. Sometimes, when I'm turning the dial on the radio in a new city I can immediately identify the Christian station even if I've never heard the song before and there were no lyrics spoken. Today's Christian music has a common sound, a low evangelical gong at a frequency nearly undetectable. A song that sounds like that tells me that the creators are unoriginal and uninspired.

Video Clip: Good faith based music crossing cultural barriers. Begins at 2:25.



I believe that some Christians feel like they have to advocate for any music if it is labeled "Christian." That somehow, their piousness deafens them to the cookie cutter crap they consume on a daily basis.

The reasonable world hears today's Christian music for what it is, however, and so it's a real find when you see the so called 'secular' rocking out to Christian music. Good music is supposed to cross the great divide between cultures and beliefs, just like Christ calls us to be authentic and original in the way his followers spread his message of hope and love.

This post was inspired by JJ at her blog Gay And Christian.

Impromptu Date

On Wednesday I was drawn to the outdoors by the beautiful Manitoba blue skies shining above the university. Kyle and I were going to spend part of the afternoon together after he finished classes, and was excited when I mentioned a skating date! As per tradition, I enjoyed a hot dog after an adventurous glide across the Red River with my boy.

There is no explanation for the spate of skating videos of late. I'm having a lot of fun though, and am considering investing in a pair of skates for myself!

Comment Tyrant Banished

Hear yea. Hear yea. Rejoice for victory is yours. The evil CAPTCHA agent has been slain in the Hills of Spam by your mighty blogger in shining armor, ME. Yea may all now comment in this land of blog, free from the annoying tyranny of word verification. I will tax any spam and give the proceeds to the Lord's work.

There are also two Baby Blue Butt Cross Pigs For Sale. Raised from birth in the same pen. See Edna the Queer to make a sale.

My favorites!

I recently discovered that I could highlight a drop down menu on another website, and when I pasted it into an HTML editor all the coded goodies spew like a broken pinata and I can see how it was created. I've used the technology for good, and placed a drop down menu of my favorite videos into My Backpack on the right hand column. These are not the most popular videos (hits wise), but the mean the most to me. Think of it as required viewing for michaeltyas.101

I'm placing a copy of the menu here to get you started.

Digg my favorite videos! Mini Party IslandLost Fall Hockey Fans By the Way, I'm Gay Fashion Alert Moving to Winnipeg Subliminal Slideshow 2006 Dirty Stinky chewy Of Mice and Men British Columbia Cystoscopy Now! Experiencing Mt. St. Helens Spray Deoderant

Don't forget to leave comments. They make my day!

Hockey Fans

My friend Mike sent a mass email asking his friends to come and support his hockey team, the CMU Blazers. They were playing against a team they dearly wanted to beat, the Providence Freemen, and fan support is what the doctor ordered. I'd never been to a hockey game before. I thought it would be a great way to support a friend and try something new.

I got there early. Once his other friends arrived, the support escalated into something only marriage could tolerate. It was like married couples gone wild!

Mike didn't even look at us the entire time, even though we had SIGNS! Broke our tender hearts.

You have to see it to believe it. I think I like this sport!

Check out a previous hockey arena video with Mike F and the gang playing broom ball.

Dead Sexy

I recently got new glasses. Aren't they sexy? I had never seen a floating frame before and everyone fell in love when I put them on. The frames are Derapage Spoiler 07. I decided to switch to glasses because I felt they would be easier on my eyes with all the reading and computer research I must do for school. So far, that's not the case.

My prescription has increased since my last checkup in 2001, and with each prescription change one usually must go through a period of adjustment, headaches, and disorientation. It's been a long time since I wore glasses on a daily basis out and about in public. I forgot that with each stronger prescription objects appear further away and smaller. I also forgot that glasses have fields of view, which sounds silly but when I sit down at the table to eat I wonder where my food went. I have to look down much further to see it in focus or push the plate further from me. I'm surprised I haven't stained every shirt I own.

The same principal applies to reading. In order to see a book now, whereas once I would place it on the desk and turn my eyes down without having to move my head, I must now either turn my entire head down, move the text further from me, or position the text on an angle. I think I will get a mini pulpit for my reading needs.




Due to the adjustments required to learn how to see through designer glasses, my body has gone on strike. My neck is killing me from the amount of new strain I've put on it, and my eyes are throbbing since I have to hold books further away. My shoulders are aching since I must sit further back from the laptop screen. Last night I couldn't climb the ladder to my loft and slept on the floor. This is the last thing I need, as I have a test coming up on Monday and will be studying for the whole weekend. Who knew that designer glasses would give me faux whiplash? I got these because I want to give my eyes a break. Instead they're working overtime :(

They do look damn sexy though. Casey says I could be Wired's Sexy Geek of 2008. I say sure, if I survive to accept the award.